More Than Mom Life

When a Splash Turned into a Storm

By

Mom

Why This Space Exists:

Co-parenting is complicated. Sometimes, it’s painful. And sometimes—like in my case—it can be dangerous.

This is the first post in a series I never wanted to write. But I’m writing it anyway, because silence protects the wrong people. Because the systems meant to help—like family court or child protection—often don’t. Because other moms (and dads) are out there right now, holding their breath during drop-off, wondering if they’re overreacting or not doing enough.

I have two daughters, and they each have different fathers. My oldest daughter’s dad, Mike, wasn’t ready to be a parent when we were young, and our relationship had its share of mistakes—but he shows up now. My youngest daughter’s father, Don, has a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits. He is inconsistent, explosive, and, at times, dangerous. For years, I’ve tried to keep things stable for my daughter in spite of that.

This space isn’t about shaming anyone. It’s about truth, resilience, and the messy, ongoing work of protecting our kids when the other parent can’t—or won’t—do their part.

The Summer That Was Supposed to Be Simple

Charlie was seven when I enrolled her in what I thought was a reputable summer camp. But within a few weeks, she came home with sunburns so bad and suffering from heat exhaustion. The camp was run by young, undertrained staff and offered little shade or structure. They didn’t remind the kids to drink water or reapply sunscreen.

At the same time, Don—her father—was seeing her once a week, and things seemed calm for once. When I told him about the camp concerns, we came up with a plan:

  • Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my mom would watch Charlie.
  • Tuesdays and Thursdays, Don would keep her at his apartment since he worked from home.

I asked him, “Are you sure you can commit to this if I pull her from camp?”
He said yes.

Patchwork Childcare

It worked—for about three weeks. One week, my mom had to leave town, and Don’s mother stepped in to help fill the gap. Charlie even stayed the night at Don’s place on Thursday. Everything seemed fine… until Friday morning.

The Walk of a Terrified Child

At 10:00 a.m., I got a text from Don while I was at work:

“I’m done babysitting. I have to work. Come get her.”

No explanation. No warning. My stomach dropped. I left immediately.

When I pulled up to his luxury apartment—where guests aren’t allowed in the buildings; visitors wait by their car—Charlie came walking out by herself. She was crying, her arms full of clothes and stuffed animals. I rushed to meet her, took her belongings, and asked, “What happened?!”

The Pool Incident

Charlie sobbed as she told me.

“We were at the pool and I splashed him by accident. I told him sorry, but Kylie said I did it on purpose.”

Kylie, her older half-sister, told Don she was being disrespectful. That’s when he grabbed Charlie by the arm, yanked her out of the pool, dragged her back to the apartment, and once inside, ripped his shirt off and screamed:

“DO YOU WANNA GO?!”

Charlie was terrified. “It felt like he wanted to fight me like I was a grown-up.”
She tried to call me—but he took away her iPad.

“Please don’t say anything. Kylie told me not to tell you,” she said.

She didn’t see Don again for the rest of the summer.

The Damage Done

Charlie still carries the fear.
She pretends to be asleep in the car so he won’t yell at other drivers & she apologizes for splashing water—even in the bathtub.

DFS has already ignored calls from her therapist. They did nothing when she was two years old and came home with a visible handprint on her cheek. Family court is another story entirely—slow, expensive, and disheartening.

What I Want Other Parents to Know

You are not overreacting.
You are not “difficult” or “controlling” for trying to protect your child.
You are not alone.

There is no roadmap for parenting alongside someone who can’t regulate themselves. No custody schedule can predict an outburst. No lawyer can promise a child’s safety. That’s why I’m writing this—because even though I’ve moved on emotionally, the co-parenting never ends.

If You’re in This Too: Free Help You Can Access

If you’re navigating something similar, here are some free and low-cost resources that may help:

🧠 Mental Health & Counseling

⚖️ Legal Aid & Support

  • LawHelp.org – Free legal info by state
  • Legal Services Corporation (LSC) – Find pro bono attorneys near you
  • Local domestic violence shelters – Even if your situation isn’t physical abuse, many offer legal support for custody-related issues

💬 If you know of other resources that helped you, please share them in the comments. We heal better together.

Posted In ,

Leave a comment